As I stand on the beach with the waves crashing at my feet and the birds flying around me like graceful doves, I think of the last time I was at a beach. It was one of the very first places that my aunt, uncle, mom, and dad traveled together. I think of all the fun times we had together and the great vactations that we went on together when tears start to form in my eyes.... Suddenly I hear my mom call me in to go pack and I think of how the last time I was at that beach we sprinkled some of his ashes into the ocean to let him sail forever...
I really liked this paragraph. It gave me an image of being at a beach myself, which I really would like to be at right now. i also liked that you were'nt afraid to share something sad on your blog.
ReplyDeleteSammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, your paragraph was very descriptive, you really put me on the beach. I like how you rhyme slightly throughout the paragraph. The ending is great and i'm sorry for your loss. I don't think you should change anything about this paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThat was really good. It created a really good picture of a beach and it was cool how you put the picture in with it. I think that made it alot better. I can't find anything wrong with this paragraph.
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