Poem written by: Samm Snyder
Two Humans In Love
She lies in bed wondering--
Does he ever think of me?
He tosses and turns; but always wonders--
Does she ever think of me?
All the memories that were once made
And all the thoughts that were once thought
As they tremble through the night
They wonder when they will finally reunite
Something that they both question
Will we ever see each other again?
The night their eyes met
Was the night they fell in love
Thinking they will never meet again
They try to get back to sleep
His dreams are all filled with her
Her dreams are all filled with him
But going through life
Constantly…with a loss of hope.
I think that the ending is sort of sudden, maybe add more at the end. i really like everything otherwise other than the rushed ending i thought it was amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think you picked a good, common theme here. Perhaps more concrete images would help deliver the emotion you want to convey. Poetry leans on those images for all its meaning, so without it, there is just really soft language left over.
ReplyDeleteThanks for those comments. I will really take those into thought. :D
ReplyDeleteThis is the poem you were telling me about at 6 flags! Haha this is really good Samm but like Amanda said, your ending was kindof sudden. But other than that, great job! :)
ReplyDelete