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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Fall Leaves and Bare Branches~Samm

Bare branches

once full trees of many colors

green, yellow, orange, red

you could go on and on

Bare branches

the seasons changing from summer to fall

from fall to winter

the hot sun blazing

to the autumn trees swaying in the wind.

Bare Branches

they change to the leaves swaying
to just falling

now with piles on the ground

just the branches left bare

Bare Branches

There are now piles and piles of leaves

all around the ground

waiting for someone to jump right in

Bare Branches above

when I hear someone in the distance—

a little girl and her mom
they jump in the leaves together

make the leaves fly to the sky

then come back down.

That little girl may always

or never does this in the fall

but either way that memory will stay with her

for a long time…

7 comments:

  1. Sam,
    This is really good, I like the repetitiveness in the poem. It has a really good effect. Next time, try to be a little more subtle and don't explain to much, it'll give the reader a little more to think about.
    -Karen

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  2. Great job on this poem! Maybe next time try to use spacing in the poem. It will make the reader pause. I love how this poem looks. I like how some lines are different colors. Great job!

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  3. I really like this poem. Nice jog using a repetitive pattern. The bolded words help the reader see you point. Maybe next time you could make some of you lines a little shorter and get rid of unnecessary words. Overall, your poem is great!

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  4. Cool technique using the colors and all to add meaning to your poem. I never thought of doing something like that. Good job using that repititious pattern with bare branches. The only thing I would change is that your last stanza didn't really make much sense. That could just be me though. Good job.

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  5. First of all i love your blog colors and the colors showing just the bare branches part! brilliant! The last line didn't really tie together at the end. Otherwise I love this poem!

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  6. Sam i like how you used seasons but with all the same theme,and also the layout, i bet you would be good at more poetic poems too!

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  7. Thanks so much Sophia! Oh, and just to let you know... I spell my name with 2 m's.. haha! but thanks for comenting on my blog! I really apreciate it!

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