Mountains-- they are all around the world weather it may be in one of the hottest places ever or one of the coldest, but they are there. As I arrive at the Grand Tetons and my parents tell me to get out of the car because we were going to go to the top I was amazed. Just at the image that I could see. It was almost as I was looking at a postcard and I was just placed there by a magical fairy. Then when we get into the cable car to go to the top the word amazement goes away and now it is just a sight that can never be replaced- the word that had replaced it was" priceless". . Being there at the end of July the snow was still on the mountains and the water was flowing down them like a calm river. When we finally reach the top my jaw just drops open and I cannot make any words come out of my mouth. You cannot say anything about them… they are just too beautiful. The only thing someone could keep saying is "wow this is the most amazing view and sight I have ever seen" and they were right. It said that we were at the tallest point in the U.S. that anyone could hike or go up--over 8,000 feet in elevation… Then when we started to take a small hike, and we could not stop taking pictures. After we returned to the flat ground at the bottom I tell my mom and dad that this is one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited in my life. Mountains are just an amazing thing created by nature.
This is a really beautiful sentiment. You tend to write story form about actual past experiences, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your stories are awesome, and reflect what a lucky person you are, plus how grateful you are for the family you've been blessed with. Do go back and revise the piece, to make corrections in spelling and grammar. If you can't find them, please see me to get the help.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this Sam. It was a cool story that was fun to read. I could actually visualize what you were talking about and I liked how you put a picture in there for a concrete visual. Good job and keep up the good writing!
ReplyDeleteI love the mountains too. Their majesty is awe inspiring. This stream of consciousness really captures their beauty. Next time try not to ramble; attempt to not use run-on sentences. Otherwise this writing is great.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good piece of writing. I could really visualize the mountain, and I could sense your exitment. maybe next time you could try using a wider variety of sentence lengths. It seemed like they were all the same number of words.
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